Stop Lying About “Born In The U.S.A”
We all know that “Born In The U.S.A.” is the most patriotic song ever written. It’s called “Born In The U.S.A.” after all, and that sounds pretty damn patriotic to me. Over the past few decades, however, a counter-narrative has formed arguing that “Born In The U.S.A.” is NOT in fact a patriotic anthem, but rather an extremely depressing, despairing message song about the illusory nature of the American dream and the emotional devastation wrought by Vietnam.
Sure, it’s easy to get that impression if you only listen to the lyrics everybody knows about but I have discovered a whole set of lyrics Springsteen originally included in “Born In The U.S.A.” but were taken out by his label when they were deemed “excessively patriotic.” Further evidence of Springsteen’s true, truly red, white and blue intentions can be found in the fact that “Born In The U.S.A.” was originally supposed to be be released on an album entitled, “Born In The U.S.A. And Other Deeply Patriotic, All-American, Non-Ironic Anthems that I Bruce Springsteen, Give Right-Wing Politicians Permission to Use in Perpetuity Because I Agree With You, Your Politics and All Of Your Messages” before this title was deemed too long and clunky, and also patriotic.
It’s me, Brucey S and I’m here to say
A country called America is a-okay!
The Statue of Liberty is a charming lass
And ol’ honest Abe sure had a lot of class!
That wholesome Pat Boone sure can croon!
And that hero JFK put a man on the moon!
We’re lucky to live in the country God loves best
Instead of goofing around with that communism mess
George Washington never told a lie
Though he did eat lots of cherry pie
That’s why you’ve gotta do the Born In The USA!
That’s right, do the Funky Born in The USA!
There’s one last thing I’d like to get off my chest
Also involving the USA being the best
If someone flies a Confederate Flag
Don’t be a hater, smile and be glad!
Don’t complain, don’t make a hoot
With tears in your eyes, smile and salute!
Remember that flag is about heritage, not hate
Be sure to honor the South, as well as all fifty states!
So the next time some Commie tries to convince you that “Born in the USA” is some kind of anti-American dirge, proudly sing these lyrics to them, after committing them to memory. That’ll learn ‘em but good!
Nathan Rabin is a dad, columnist and the author of five books, most recently 7 Days In Ohio: Trump, The Gathering of the Juggalos and the Summer Everything Went Insane
